I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
