he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
