fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
