Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
