Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
