For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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