well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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