I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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