im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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