Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
