he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
