i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
