Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
