life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
