I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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