I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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