good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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