I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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