just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
