Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
