Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
