She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
