the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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