At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
