so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
