Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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