Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
