i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
