Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
