I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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