Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you had me at cake vodka
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
