she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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