How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
