you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
