Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
