I only kidnapped one of them. chill
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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