Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
