I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Me too!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
