i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
