FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
