There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
