is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
