all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
