I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
