In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
