if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
