I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
