it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
