Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why are your pants in the freezer?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
