Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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