You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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